Dr. Boli’s Insightful Facts, XV

Natural Medicine. Natural medicine is the art of removing the joy from naturally occurring foods. Thus if red wine, green tea, chocolate, or other natural sources of contentment are believed to have some kind of medical value, they must be compressed into tasteless pills. In this way we distinguish medicine from goofing off.

~Henricus Albertus Boli, Dr. Boli’s Encyclopedia of Misinformation, p. 98.

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Dr. Boli’s Insightful Facts, XI

Medicine. Doctors cannot dispense their own prescriptions because only licensed pharmacists are taught the secret incantations that render the drugs effective.

The primary purpose of most medical treatments is to give the patient something to do until the disease goes away by itself.

~Henricus Albertus Boli, Dr. Boli’s Encyclopedia of Misinformation, p. 91.

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